SALVATION IN PAPERBACK or HOW I LEARNED TO BE A FEAR MONGER AND PROFIT FROM IT

I stumbled across a real relic of the ‘80s last week--a little trade paperback book entitled TURMOIL IN THE TOY BOX by Phil Phillips.

I was in the local Salvation Army hunting for treasure (usually a paperback, record or VHS movie on the unbearably cheap) and I picked up this little TPB and gave the cover a look. Initially, I thought “neat, a novel about toys coming to life”. My mind began to race thinking about Toy Story and how fun it was. Maybe this would be a neat read and somehow involve He-Man, My Pretty Pony, G.I. Joe, Barbie, etc. And then I read the back cover. SIGH.

It is a warning that Care Bears are out to convert your children to paganism. That Rainbow Brite wants you to turn away from the lord. That Cabbage Patch Kids are out to indoctrinate your children into the occult. That the Smurfs are... well, you already know that the Smurfs are pure unholy evil. Get the picture? Children’s toys and cartoons are dangerously powerful tools of the Antichrist.

Well, duh.

And, of course, whenever anything like this is made, it is passed along throughout the landscape of the like-minded and so you can even find Youtube clips of the author being interviewed about how He-Man is making your child into a knight in Satan’s service. It pleased me (I’m always pleased to be pleased) that others had found this gem and commented on it already. Now, my work will be easier. Just refer my dear readers to the websites and posts below and enjoy the fruits of other’s labors.

http://www.debased.com/content/literature/t/turmoil.html

http://wideeyecinema.com/?p=1893

http://timmccready.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/early-80s-cartoon-themes-turmoil-in-the-toybox/

http://www.joelgn.com/blog/?p=1132

http://www.nategangelhoff.com/satantoys.htm

Enjoyable, eh?

And now, an excerpt from the book itself:
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While preaching in Florida, I went to a mall to buy some shaving supplies. After leaving the store, I did something I had not done in years--I walked into a toy store. The first toy I saw was one called Skeletor, which was holding a ram’s head staff in its hand. I immediately recognized the ram’s head as an occult symbol; I decided to buy the toy. I went back to the house and opened the wrapping around the toy. Inside was a little comic book, which I read with astonishment. “How could any sane person sell this to a child?” I thought. It was “loaded”, absolutely loaded with the occult from beginning to end.
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What I like about the guy’s writing is how he leaves out certain facts, like that Skeletor happens to be a guy who has only a skull for a head and how he’s the evil villain of the series. Another thing--he decides to buy the toy after recognizing the evil occult symbol? And, of course, it’s the comic book that clinches it for him (always with the comic books).

I will be revisiting this book again as I read along and will probably provide the “proof” that he offers his dear readers that the toy and cartoon makers are out to warp young minds.