Now where did all of these damned "B"s come from?
I had originally planned on having all of the "B" graded films on my list show up on the same post, but damn if I didn't give loads of "B" grades out this year. I figured I should just bite the bullet and just put out the "B" and "B-" to let you guys know I hadn't quit on the list and have the "B+" show up next time with the "A"s. So that's what's going on...
Brace yourselves for the...
INVASION OF THE "B" MOVIES!
JASON BOURNE
is an adept continuation of the Bourne series of films (even after an attempt to have another character take over the role), but I’m not sure I care that much anymore. Like all the other films of this series, it is a compelling action film, but beyond that thrill ride I’m not sure the emotional investment is being returned on. In the end, Bourne is like Bond without the gadgets or sex—and I don’t really find Bond all that interesting.
Grade: B
HEART LIKE A HAND GRENADE
is a documentary that was shot of the band Green Day as they made their massive album “American Idiot”. While an insightful look at the band’s process and why it makes some of the choices it makes, the film comes off somewhat limited in it’s depth. Still, a fun look at the band for their fans.
Grade: B
PURGE: ELECTION YEAR
continues the series’ focus on the political side, only this time it’s the idea of a Purge that is up for debate. In fact, one Senator (Elizabeth Mitchell) is running for President who wants to end the Purge altogether. It’s the powers that be, who set out to end her bid for power. The only person standing between her and the killers sent to destroy her is Frank Grillo, whose character grew to survive and overcome the Purge the last time around. Another interesting installment of this series that asks the question: how bad can America get before it isn’t truly America anymore.
Grade: B
THE FORREST
features Natalie Dormer, who portrays an American who has an unsettling feeling about her twin sister, who is in Japan at a forrest known for its dangerously high suicide rate. Natalie doesn’t believe her sister dead, so she goes there to find her and help her from the true danger she thinks she is in. Only, the forrest begins to affect her, to alter her experience. Minds continue to bend all the way to the end and it’s the acting that paces itself throughout.
Grade: B
BONE TOMAHAWK
is your classic “weird western tale” of a pre-historic tribe of natives attacking a small town in the Southwest in the late 1800s. For such a low budget movie, the talent level is high as the cast includes Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox and David Arquette. Russell is the sheriff, Wilson is a hobbled foreman whose wife has been taken and Fox is a braggart and hot-shot who all set off to find this “lost tribe”. While not a great film—it seems to linger a bit too long on the horse ride--it does allow itself time to breathe. A fine gritty dark Western.
Grade: B
SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
It’s all in the title—scouts versus zombies—and in that, you definitely get what is advertized. The comedy and action are more important here as the zombies are just a means to an end. It’s a coming of age tale that needed to be told! Now we need a sequel featuring Girl Scouts—that would be really scary!
Grade: B
SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
Grade: B
THE BOY
begins like a V. C. Andrews novel—a young woman moving in to an old mansion in the UK to nanny a young boy while his elderly guardians are gone for a holiday. And then it gets weird as it turns out “the boy” she’s supposed to mind is actually a boy-sized doll. Lauren Cohan (The Walking Dead’s Maggie) is the nanny and she is good in the role of the bemused, befuddled and terrified babysitter.
Grade: B
WHEN ANIMALS DREAM
is that rare Danish werewolf film. And it’s a strange and quiet one that slowly unravels the mystery of this young woman and her evolving condition. It’s been compared to Let the Right One In and Ginger Snaps, but while I wouldn’t put it on that level, it does have one foot in each ballpark. It’s a film I would have liked to have lasted for a few more beats to see where it could or would have gone.
Grade: B
THE CHANGELING
is an oldie but a goodie starring George C. Scott as a composer whose family has died in a tragic auto accident (see We Are Still Here for that continued theme). Full of grief, he moves out of his NYC home across the country to a massive estate near Seattle. There, his peace is disturbed by a ghost whose spirit will remain unsettled until the unresolved issue around its passing has been revealed. Scott is, of course, superb and the film does have it’s creepy moments—some that have been copied copiously since this one hit theatres in 1980.
Grade: B
THE SALVATION
finally features Mads Mikkelsen as the protagonist in this revenge-fueled Western. Jeffrey Dean Morgan chews scenery as the brother of the man Mikkelsen’s character killed after the man killed his wife and son. And Eva Green seethes silently as a mute put-upon widow who ain’t taking it anymore. Not great filmmaking, but it’ll do for a Sunday afternoon.
Grade: B
WHY HIM?
is a good question. Why James Franco? Still not sure, really, but the movie is funny and that’s what really counts. Franco is the oblivious billionaire who is trying desperately to convince a college student’s family to like him and accept him as the girl’s future husband. Brian Cranston, Megan Mullally and Keegan Michael-Key are all on key with the comedy.
Grade: B
DEADPOOL
is a movie I begrudgingly watched mostly out of my love of the X-Man known as Colossus. He is one of the many casualties of the X-Men movie franchise—characters who didn’t get play due to time/focus/budget reasons. Here, he gets to be that big, borscht boy scout made of organic steel. Unfortunately, it’s not his movie. I’m no fan of Deadpool, but I’ll admit the movie was pretty good despite him. He just isn’t that funny, no matter how funny he thinks he is.
Grade: B
ALWAYS WATCHING: A Marble Hornets Story
takes the idea of the Slender Man and runs with it. It is another of the found footage films—this one featuring a news crew (reporter, camera man and producer) as they stumble onto the tragic story of a family that has gone missing and feared dead. Convincing performances and nice low budget F/X make this one a good watch.
Grade: B
THE CONJURING 2
follows The Warrens as they go to Britain in an effort to help the Hodgson family and the poltergeist that is troubling them. During all of this, Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) keeps having visions of her husband falling to his death while she is being strangled by a demonic nun. The nun has haunted Lorraine since their investigation of the Amityville murders. All good set up material for another haunting tale, told pretty well.
Grade: B
THE SHALLOWS
is one woman versus one great white shark in a shallow cove in isolated Mexico. Blake Lively is a medical student who is thinking about calling it quits after the death of her mom. After being attacked, she becomes stranded a short distance from shore, trapped due to the aggressive nature of the shark. A solid thriller that delivers on it’s promises.
Grade: B
MIDNIGHT SPECIAL
is the story of a boy with special abilities being rescued from a cult by his father and taken on the run from government agencies. The boy, it turns out is the something special in this film. But it is the lengths to which the father, played by Michael Shannon, goes to protect his son that make the movie shine.
Grade: B
STEVE MCQUEEN: THE MAN & LE MANS
is a documentary of obsession and art and how the combination lead to his downfall. It tells the tale of the actor and his persuit of perfection as he battles the studio, his writers and his directors in an effort to get more control of the film.
Grade: B
THE DUEL
is more a trial as Texas Ranger Liam Hemsworth rides into a small town run by Woody Harrelson to investigate a series of murders in this story set a while after the Civil War. It doesn’t ever really feel like the movie gels as it should, but the sheer charm, corruption and charisma of Harrelson’s wacko fanatic pulls the viewer in and almost convinces him to try and handle snakes during Sunday service.
Grade: B-
RED STATE
isn’t really the horror film Kevin Smith makes it out to be. Sure, it’s a dark subject, but it’s closer to thriller territory. It’s the story of some teenagers getting caught between an extreme church and the federal government. As always, John Goodman is superb, Stephen Root is excellent, Melissa Leo is fantastic and Michael Parks is scary. Boy does it beat the hell out of TUSK.
Grade: B-
COP CAR
is a low budget thriller pitting youthful innocence against aged corruption. Kevin Bacon is a crooked cop who has his car taken by two kids who have decided to run away from home and what follows is the harrowing tale of the conflict between them. Bacon is appropriately menacing and the kids are appropriately scared.
Grade: B-
VHS 2
remains a surprising anthology series. Though not as good as the original, this second installment anthology horror film is an entertaining effort. This time the framing story is about a PI attempting to find a missing college student and stumbling upon a stack of videotapes. The four stories on those videos are… a man with an ocular imlant finds he can see more than he wants to see… a cyclist stumbles into a zombie outbreak in a park… a film crew witnesses the collapse of an Indonesian cult… and an alien abduction at a slumber party is caught on tape.
Grade: B-
BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS
is a parody of working in the corporate business world that somehow straddles Office Space and Fright Night territory. Though that compliment is too glowing because this one is neither as funny, nor scary as either of those two near perfect films. That’s what they are attempting when an office worker learns that the colleague who just got the big promotion is actually a vampire.
Grade: B-
KEANU
isn’t as funny as some of the skits comedians Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key honed to perfection on their television show, but it is still funny throughout and it has heart. And a kitty named “Keanu”, of course. It’s about getting back that kitty from the drug dealer who has stolen it from the poor broken man (Jordan) who adopted it after having been dumped by his girlfriend.
Grade: B-
THE DARKNESS
takes your average aboriginal curse story and translates it to a modern American family. While on vacation at the Grand Canyon, an autistic boy takes some black rocks with symbols on them from a cave and this act unleashes demonic Anasazi spirits on the family and soon, in an effort to end the world. Fine actors like Radha Mitchell and Kevin Bacon can’t bring this one out of “meh” territory.
Grade: B-
SWISS ARMY MAN
is both easy and hard to describe. First of all, it’s about a guy stranded on a desert island about to kill himself who finds a corpse that he is able to use as a tool of survival and escape. It’s also a story of a man finding his way back from the edge of insanity to his own humanity. Or is it? Is it about a mentally ill guy stalking a woman he obsesses about. Hard to say, but the journey is what I come down to as being the story behind the story.
Grade: B-
BAD SANTA 2
is an attempt to capture lightning in a bottle a second time. Unfortunately, it’s a task even Billy Bob and Kathy Bates aren’t able to complete this time. It’s still no failure as the performances are strong, but the script seems to be the real culpret behind the mediocre result. It’s not that bad and certainly not bad enough—best to go back and rewatch the original.
Grade: B-
EQUALS
is a hybrid, a cross Equillibrium with Romeo and Juliet. That gives you the building blocks for this science fiction drama. It’s a world where emotion and empathy are thought of as a sickeness. And when Silas begins to notice he’s becoming more emotional, it’s discovered that he has this sickness. He becomes more isolated at work, but at the same time, he notices Nia and he begins to suspect she is “ill” too.
Grade: B-
GHOSTBUSTERS
is the reimagining of the kooky scientists who hunt down phantoms and specters for the good of the public and it didn’t measure up to the original. I blame the script—not that it was terrible, just that it didn’t measure up to the superb original. But did we ever expect it to? Not I. Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig restrained themselves in their roles, but Kate McKinnon was allowed to let her freak flag fly and she provided most of the funny. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) was also good for a laugh or two.
Grade: B-
LIGHTS OUT
is a creative supernatural horror film based on a short film of the same name by the same director (David F. Sandberg). The story revolves around an entity who can only move and act in darkness and who happens to be attached to this one family and, in particular, the mother of this family (Maria Bello). Well acted and paced, the film builds up a real feeling of dread and horror. My main qualm with the movie is that Maria Bello’s character isn’t given enough screen time.
Grade: B-
WE ARE STILL HERE
is your usual horror story about a couple buying an old house because of a change in their lives (in this case it’s the death of their college-aged son Bobby in a car accident) and discovering that the house they’ve moved into is somehow tainted, cursed or haunted. In this case, it was a funeral parlor in the 1800s that was run by a family that swindled their customers by selling the corpses and burying empty caskets. The twist here is that the townsfolk are holding something back about the story… something that could get the couple killed. B-Grade horror fans will recognize Barbara Crampton as the deeply depressed mom
Grade: B-
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