Sunday, January 24, 2016

2015 MOVIES IN REVIEW (PART 4): THAT'S "A" FOLKS!

This year in film I didn’t make it out to the theater as much as years past, which has more to do with my taste as anything else.  There are some movies I just don’t want to pay big screen ticket prices for.  But there were many quality films in theaters this year and there were several that I had to check out for the first time on the small screen.

The below are the best of the best this past year.
In this reviewer’s opinion anyway,
and you know, we all have one.



WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
What It Is:
This mocumentary about a household of vampires living together in modern New Zealand is nearly a perfect spoof.  Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi and Jonathan Brugh are a trio of bloodsucking singles on the make who are willing to take these documentary filmmakers into their world of not doing dishes, mesmerism, flying, cleaning up blood, thralls, etc.

What It Was:
The funniest and most observant spoof I’ve seen in years.  It’s Spinal Tap meets Interview with the Vampire.  And, on top of all of that, the soundtrack of this film is rich with quality tunes that add a great texture to the final product.

What It Earned:
“A-”
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BIRDMAN
What It Is:
Michael Keaton plays Riggan Thomson, former box office big man on campus, who gave up the idea of the megabucks of the masses for the artistic satisfaction of quality work.  Only he’s in the midst of a breakdown as the pressure builds and his attempt at Broadway success nears.

What It Was:
All about the moments between creation and expectation.  It’s all about the fear of failure and the desperate need for acceptance and success.  It’s about ego and id, fear and fortune.  It’s literally a look inside the head of Keaton’s character as he deals with the turmoil in his family, the stress of putting on a play and dealing with the setbacks and even the casting of someone who may overshadow the whole purpose of his effort.

What It Earned:
“A-”
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MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
What It Is:
Water tyrant Immortan Joe enforces his twisted will on desperate survivors of the apocalypse in his desert fortress.  Tom Hardy’s Mad Max finds himself attacked and taken prisoner there, only to soon find himself in a convoy hunting down Charlize Theron’s Furiosa as she attempts to free the five wives of the despot and race them away from his territory through the wasteland.

What It Was:
The visual treat of the year.  What it lacks in dialog it makes up for in unique visual power and action appeal.  There’s so much going on at once on the screen that it nearly overwhelms the senses.  My one qualm about the film is that Max himself seems merely along for the ride—as if he may not even be necessary for the story to be told.

What It Earned:
“A-”
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THE HATEFUL EIGHT
What It Is:
Unable to beat a blizzard on the way to post-Civil War Red Rock, Wyoming, Kurt Russell’s John “The Hangman” Ruth has to take shelter with his prisoner, Daisy Domergue, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh.  Trouble is he can’t trust that anyone hold up at the little stagecoach stopover might be part of her gang set on freeing his prisoner before he can deliver her to be hanged.  There’s Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, Demian Bichir, Walton Goggins and Samuel L. Jackson in the lodge—a strange mix of folks.  And there’s a fair amount of palavering among them all as The Hangman tries to discern just who it is who might attempt to take down to free Daisy.

 What It Was:
A cold hard look at the social issues that are a natural fallout after a country nearly rips itself in two over such a fundamental issue as slavery.  A look at what it takes to bring justice, albeit frontier justice, to a frontier full of injustice.  A feast for the ears and mind, more so than the eyes as the perspectives are all shared bluntly and openly amongst people too self-righteous to worry about political correctness.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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EX MACHINA
What It Is:
A programmer, portrayed by Domhnall Gleeson, at a technology company is the winner of a contest within the company to spend a week at the private home of their reclusive boss, an eccentric and odd man played by Oscar Isaac.  There, he’s told that he is to assist Isaac in testing the consciousness of a robot named Ava.

What It Was:
A gripping science fiction tale that illustrates the need for caution as we proceed down the path towards sentience for our artificial friends.  In other words, it’s a newfangled take on the Frankenstein story.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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FOXCATCHER
What It Is:
This true tragedy revolves around Olympic wrestlers Dave (Mark Ruffalo) and Mark Schultz (Channing Tatum) and their involvement with a sponsor by the name of John Du Pont, played by Steve Carell.

What It Was:
A dark tale of one man’s power outweighing society’s ability to stop their mental illness from leading to tragedy.  Upon first “meeting” Carell’s Du Pont, we can tell something isn’t right with the man’s mind.  It isn’t overwhelmingly obvious, but it’s there, under the surface trying to find it’s way out.  We can see that Mark suffers from in inferiority complex as his brother is always seen by others as the natural leader, the smarter, more charismatic.  All of this leads to the climax we will come to dread.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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IT FOLLOWS
What It Is:
Jay sleeps with her new boyfriend, Hugh, for the first time and right after, he abducts her away, ties her to a wheelchair and begins telling her that he has just passed a curse onto her via sex.  What follows is IT.  It follows you, it hunts you, it comes for you.  And if it gets you, what results is death.

What It Was:
A hell of an interesting premise and an oddly unnerving watch.  The kind of unique monster one would expect from John Carpenter.  This year’s BABADOOK, it’s something new and different while remaining strangely familiar—after all, just like your typical slasher picture, those who have sex get it.  This time “it” is a creature.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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WHIPLASH
What It Is:
What happens when obsessive jazz drummer (Miles Teller) meets fanatical music instructor (J.K. Simmons)?  A hell of an interesting and combative film, actually.  A passion for perfection drives both to extremes that spiral both toward potential greatness and/or tragedy.

What It Was:
Disturbing and admirable all at once.  One can help but respect the ambition, the drive it takes one to attempt that kind of greatness and, at the same time, it’s a bit disturbing to watch as reality begins to slip from the grasp of the obsessed student.  

What It Earned:
“A-“
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DOPE
What It Is:
High-schoolers Malcolm, Jib and Diggy are into ‘90s culture while they bond together playing in their own punk band in a tough Inglewood neighborhood.  While at a party in a club, a drug dealer hides his stash in Malcom’s backpack and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

What It Was:
High drama and over-the-top hijinks ensue as they try to evade the dealer, his enemies and the law while trying to get rid of the drugs and Malcolm tries to complete a college essay.  Of course, it’s elevated to another level when, in the course of this adventure, we grow to love these geek underdogs and we relate to their struggle.  The movie was, as the title suggests, DOPE.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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ANT-MAN
What It Is:
The latest of Marvel’s adapted superhero properties created by the late, great Jack Kirby and Stan Lee is it’s tiniest.  Or, more truthfully, it’s his protege—you see Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) is the original Ant-Man and he recruits Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang to act on his behalf as the new Ant-Man.

What It Was:
Easily the most fun to be had in a superhero movie all year.  An ensemble cast and a story that doesn’t simply repeat the superhero formula make for a fresh watch.  While it’s a shame they made Hank old, this one breathed new life into the genre.

What It Earned:
“A-“
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TRAIN WRECK
What It Is:
An aging party girl doesn’t understand it when the new guy she’s sleeping with wants to hang out and get to know her.  She’s always been of the mind that monogamy is unfeasible, so she’s lived her life free of commitment.  And so, she finds herself falling in love and begins to wonder if she can learn to be with one guy.

What It Was:
An actual funny comedy.  We don’t get enough of these these days.  Sure some are humorous and can make one smile, but it’s tough for our discerning gut to get to giggle like it should.  Beyond the comedy, Amy Schumer and Bill Hader really make this movie work as their chemistry is natural.  

What It Earned:
“B+“
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THE VISIT
What It Is:
A teenage girl (Olivia DeJonge) and her younger teenage brother (Ed Oxenbould) leave their mother on a train to meet their maternal grandparents for the first time.  And, at first, things are a little strange.  People have their quirks and the kids try not to hold their Pop Pop and Nana’s strange ways against them.  But then things just keep getting stranger and stranger…

What It Was:
A return to form for M. Night Shyamalan.  Back to fairytale simplicity and the story Shyamalan tells fits the scope of his ability.  Hansel and Gretel-like—there is a whole thing with the oven—it is truly harrowing for these kids in this house with the unknown.  A fine showing for all—even that annoying boy and his attempts at hip-hop.

What It Earned:
“B+“
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JOHN WICK
What It Is:
Retired legendary assassin John Wick is mourning his wife when a sadistic mobster and his thugs steal John’s car and kill his dog—the last gift his dying wife left for him.  One guess what comes for the remaining seventy-five minutes of this film!  That’s right, kids: a killing spree!

What It Was:
An artfully made “B” actioner that pulls no punches and misses no bullseyes.  The choreography, the slow-motion shots, the stylish turns—it’s a perfect check-your-mind-at-the-door thrill-ride.  The qualm being that it doesn’t quite tell us enough about Wick himself for us to care very much for even him.  It’s just that the bad guys really deserve what comes for them.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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YOUNG ONES
What It Is:
In a future where drought rules and water is valued above all, Michael Shannon’s farmer defends his land and attempts to find water where he can find it.  Nicholas Hoult as a suitor for his daughter (Elle Fanning) has his own schemes for that very land.

What It Was:
Low budget examination of a future disaster that may await many in even rich countries.  Also an examination of what one may be willing to do for their family as desperation grows and greed exerts itself.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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GOODNIGHT MOMMY
What It Is:
Twin brothers welcome their mother home after reconstructive surgery and soon come to doubt she’s their mother after all.  The two are an inseparable pair, the age at which curiosity and ability can make for a dangerous combination and their mother’s aloof behavior may not help.

What It Was:
A twisted, harrowing tale that goes in directions unexpected.  An unpleasant watch that may haunt the viewer with it’s stark callow brutality.  And yet, when it comes to the subject, it’s not quite surprising.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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WISH I WAS HERE
What It Is:
Zach Braff plays a struggling actor in L.A. who finds out that his father, played by Mandy Patinkin, is dying.  Trouble is his wife, played by Kate Hudson, and kids have come to depend on his father’s money for his children's’ schooling.  And so, Braff’s character attempts home-schooling all the while dealing with the issues his dying father are forcing him to confront.

What It Was:
A fine attempt to examine everything from the meaning of life, the meaning of death, to parental relationships, to sibling relationships.  In short, it’s a fine film dedicated to what family means and what sacrifices we make for those we love.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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GREEN INFERNO
What It Is:
College student Justine meets and falls for a charismatic activist named Alejandro after a hunger strike for increased wages for janitors at the college.  She then agrees to go with his group to the Amazon in order to stop deforestation.  There, she learns he is as manipulative and ambitious as any politician and that’s just the beginning of her learning curve.

What It Was:
Everything one could want from an Eli Roth homage to Cannibal Holocaust about privileged youth preaching morality and traveling to the 3rd world only to have themselves become food for the very people they’re trying to save.  The gore isn’t as bad as Cannibal Holocaust, of course, and the media hype makes more of what there is than what is actually on screen, so don’t let that discourage you—this is tasty stuff!

What It Earned:
“B+“
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STUNG
What It Is:
Genetically mutated wasps attack attendees at a waspy garden party, the result of which are giant wasp monsters.  Think Aliens as party crashers minus the huge studio budget.  And what helps that comparison is Lance Henriksen as the mayor, Caruthers.

What It Was:
“B” movie love done up to almost TREMORS-level quality.  The story follows two catering staffers as they set up for an outdoor affair at a rural mansion that’s seen better days.  Clearly the assistant, Paul, is crushing on his boss, Julia, but he lets work get in the way of his feelings.  And so we follow them through this creature feature until the ever lovin’ end.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
What It Is:
Thirty years after the defeat of the Galactic Empire, Kylo Ren and the First Order have risen to attempt to reclaim all that was lost.  Meanwhile, a Stormtrooper named Finn (can you say Huck?) abandons his post and rescues a pilot being tortured.  Rey (of light?), a scavenger, has claimed the droid BB-8, which holds intelligence essential to the Resistance.  And so we have the redeemer and the searcher, both looking for where they belong in the galaxy, caught up in a continuing war that seems never-ending.

What It Was:
Overall, a fine return to form for the franchise.  What we are seeing that was left of the Empire was akin to what our soldiers saw upon hitting the outskirts of the last remnants of the 3rd Reich… children and fanatics.  Those ignorant enough to keep fighting in a cause that was clearly lost and those naive or too obedient to realize they can give up.  And that’s what makes these brown shirt types in the First Order dangerous, I suppose.  And it’s what makes Kylo Ren terribly interesting too—that and the fact that he is who he is.  As for our old pals, they are fun as ever—though with Luke out of the loop and Leia busy leading an army, it’s not complete.  Still, it’s a foundation from which to build on—too bad it took so long to get back to this… long time ago.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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AMERICAN SNIPER
What It Is:
Bradley Cooper beefs up for his role as Chris Kyle a Navy SEAL who struggles to deal with life during and after the war in Clint Eastwood’s latest film.

What It Was:
Though well directed and acted, the script just felt like it didn’t get it’s arms around the story well enough to explore the heart of the tale.  Sure, it’s touched on, but it’s so episodic that the transition from war to home life doesn't get a full exploration.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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THE MARTIAN
What It Is:
Matt Damon is an astronaut on Mars who gets lost in a freak storm and presumed dead as a mission comes to a quick end and his comrades leave the red planet for home.

What It Was:
A well told tale of survival and perseverance, that was so sprinkled with humor that the true danger Damon’s character was in felt a bit diminished.  And, honestly, that’s probably the most realistic thing about the film.  How he uses his mind to solve the problems of survival and uses humor to keep himself from giving in to the probable temptation to give up.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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ANOTHER ME
What It Is:
A wee British indie about a teenage girl named Fay, who, after her home life turns tragic, begins to sense that she’s being stalked by a lookalike who is out to steal her life.

What It Was:
A film that uses it’s limited tools effectively.  Shadows and whispers play strong roles alongside players like Sophie Turner, Rhys Ifans and Claire Forlani as young Fay either begins to lose her mind or an external supernatural force works itself on her.

What It Earned: 
“B+”
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SICARIO
What It Is:
FBI agent Kate Macer (Emily Blunt) accepts a top assignment in a task force run by mysterious official Matt Graver (Josh Brolin) that is escalating the war on drug cartels.  Led by the enigmatic Alejandro (Benicio Del Toro), they cross the border back and forth using one boss to flush out bigger fish.

What It Was:
The tension builds inside the task force as Emily Blunt’s character becomes less and less comfortable with the methods being utilized to get the job done.  And we the audience become uncomfortable, seeing how unclear it is how far they will go to shut down the descenting voice.  If you enjoyed this film, I recommend the TV series THE BRIDGE that had a few excellent seasons and I was reminded of it several times as I watched this film.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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CRIMSON PEAK
What It Is:
Guillermo del Toro’s gothic romance or supernatural thriller is a tale of one woman’s struggle for independence, respect and love all the while reconciling her past.

What It Was:
Lush.  A beautiful picture with terribly lovely monstrosities that allows it’s mystery to unfold at a gothically slow pace.  It leaves one longing for a solution nearly as much as young Edith, played innocently and determinedly by Mia Wasikowska.  Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain also supply fine performances as siblings.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL
What It Is:
The title says it all, really.  An episodic look at the daily lives of a small circle of friends as one of them is going through a bout with cancer.

What It Was:
Not really the tear-jerker the title implies.  Funny and sadly sober, sure, but it doesn’t get sappy.  It takes on the subject heartily and a neat, if uneven film is the result.

What It Earned:
“B+”
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Saturday, January 16, 2016

2015 MOVIES IN REVIEW (Part 3): INVASION OF THE "B" GRADE


Hi there.
Didn’t think we’d gone away for good, did you?

No, no… it’s just this is a busy time for us here at The Goods what with sorting through all the movie reviews and and the awards and nominations and what-not.  Speaking of which, here are the movies that earned a “B” or a “B-“  Grade from our panel of film scholars and experts.


But first, here’s how we here at The Goods come to our deeply considered critical conclusions:

How I rate these things is not by some general standard, but by my own expectations for each individual film.  If your trailer makes me anticipate Oscar gold, I expect Oscar gold.  If it appears to be of B-Grade quality as I approach it, I’ll grade it as such, expectations slide.  The lesser gifted are forgiven for their faults, the greater gifted bring expectations.  Levels the playing field, methinks.

Ah, but on to the B-Roll:



PING-PONG SUMMER
What It Is:
Set in Ocean City, Maryland in 1985, an obsession with table tennis and hip hop music changes the life of Radical Miracle, yep that’s his name, played by Marcello Conte.  He makes a new best friend, gets his first crush and battles a bully with the help of Susan Sarandon as Randi Jammer—former Ping Pong Pro.

What It Was:
Though not as funny as I’d hoped, this one definitely brought back the period while being a fine coming of age film.

What It Earned:
“B”




KINGSMAN
What It Is:
Young “Eggsy” seems to be headed for a life of crime and incarceration when Colin Firth’s dapper Agent Harry Hart sees his potential and drafts him as a trainee in the secret service.  It’s an elite espionage organization that provides focus and structure for the kid.  Along comes Sam Jackson’s  villainous Richmond Valentine and his plan to kill a massive amount of people to solve the climate change problem and the game is afoot.

What It Was:
A fun ride that allows one to rest one’s brain on the empty seat beside oneself and enjoy the action and humor

What It Earned:
“B”




UNFRIENDED
What It Is:
Laura Barnes is a teenager who killed herself a year ago after an embarassing act of cyber-bulling.  Her classmates are having a group chat online one night and they are joined by a mystery user who is using the dead girl’s chat name.  As they try to fix the problem or discover who’s behind the hoax, bad things begin to happen…

What It Was:
Surprising that a film that pretty-much consisted of talking heads could create an atmosphere of fear.  This is one movie that gets the most out of it’s budget and format while performing the task of keeping one interested.

What It Earned:
“B”




AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
What It Is:
Tony Stark initiates a peacekeeping program that evolves into the being known as Ultron, an artificial intelligence that decides mankind deserves to live under it’s boot-heel or die.  Earth’s Mightiest Heroes assemble and pick up a few new members along the way in Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and the Vision in order to stop this new mechanical menace.

What It Was:
This one started off with real qualms with fanboys of the comics such as myself because there is no Ultron without the mind of Henry Pym and so Hurdle Number One.  Hurdle Number Two is the big battle at the end that too closely resembles the big battle at the end of the first Avengers film.  How about instead of a billion robots, try the team struggling to take down one truly badass meat-killing Ultron prime?  It would look different and would play better.

What It Earned:
“B”




ATTICUS INSTITUTE
What It Is:
A documentary style horror that examines what happens in the 1970s at the the height of the cold war when Dr. Henry West sets out to find people with supernatural abilities and patient Judith Winstead’s abilities are beyond his imagination.  But it’s the dark source of those abilities that soon reveals itself.

What It Was:
Things get interesting when the military boys come in and take over in their attempts to harness the power of this possessed woman.  An interesting bit of film, well acted, well directed.

What It Earned:
“B”




VANISHING ON 7TH STREET
What It Is:
Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizamo star in this apocalyptic tale of a mysterious darkness that stalks the living.  When the shadows come, they pull everyone out of existence—right out of their clothes.  In a plague of darkness, three people battle to stay alive using light.

What It Was:
 It almost comes off as biblical as they each struggle to get past their demons real and imagined.  Good drama, well drawn characters and a real sense of doom.

What It Earned:
“B“




THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (2014)
What It Is:
Called a meta-sequel to the 1976 film of the same name, it is a slasher horror film that is based on a real series of killings that happened in a town called Texarkana.

What It Was:
Beautifully shot and interestingly twisted, this film sometimes exceeds it’s grasp and part of that must be due to the added depth created by not only being based on some true events and having an earlier film to draw upon.  A dark bit of Americana told well by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon (Me Earl and the Dying Girl) and Roberto Aquirre-Sacasa (Afterlife with Archie).

What It Earned:
“B”




THE GIFT
What It Is:
Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall are a couple moving back to his hometown and they run into an old acquaintance from his past by the name of Gordo, played by Joel Edgerton.  Soon he pushes his way into their life in uncomfortable ways with odd gifts that imply a familiarity beyond the obvious.

What It Was:
A mystery that unfolds uncomfortably and edgily—a slow-burn thriller that yields revelations as the danger increases and the depth of the obsession and even the grievance is unveiled.  One that doesn’t go where one anticipates.

What It Earned:
“B”




RITES OF SPRING
What It Is:
A hybrid of crime drama and supernatural horror, the movie follows the story of two women who were abducted in order to be sacrificed to a harvest demon by an old farmer and it also follows the kidnapping and ransom demands of a group of desperate people.

What It Was:
A fresh idea that, considering the small budget, is surprisingly well executed.  Partially a throwback to a film like Children of the Corn and part mix of From Dusk Til Dawn’s mix of genres, it adds enough characterization and depth that the deaths have meaning.

What It Earned:
“B”




MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
What It Is:
A stylish Cold War spy thriller that has agents from the United States and the Soviet Union joining forces to stop a mysterious criminal organization out to upset the balance of power.

What It Was:
Guy Ritchie doesn’t overpower the substance of this film with his usual energetic style, but it does project it’s own neat sense of humor.  Armie Hammer (of Lone Ranger fame) is solid stone as KGB agent Illya Kuryakin and Henry Cavill is charming as CIA agent Napoleon Solo.  Alicia Vikander nearly steals the show as the daughter of a German scientist who may be able to prevent the entire catastrophe.

What It Earned:
“B”




THE TALL MAN
What It Is:
Jessica Biel is a nurse whose son is the latest victim in a small town plagued by child abductions carried out by a legendary figure known as “The Tall Man”.

What It Was:
A film that was a bit smarter and a lot trickier than I expected.  I love a good mind-fuck as much as the next guy, so this one kept me at attention until the end.

What It Earned:
“B”




THE SNOWTOWN MURDERS
What It Is:
Based on true events in Australia involving a teenage boy and what happens to him when his mom’s new boyfriend begins to take it upon himself to torture and kill those in the neighborhood he hates.

What It Was:
A by-the-numbers guide to making a murderer.  Easily the most stark and disturbing movie I saw all year.

What It Earned:
“B”




SPY
What It Is:
Melissa McCarthy is a CIA analyst who finally gets her chance to do spy work in the field after a career as a desk jockey working with suave Jude Law.

What It Was:
The recipe for a strong physical comedy has been created.  They added a bit of a twist by throwing in Jason Statham as an agent whose been on several missions too many.  And the result was a decent showing, all considered.

What It Earned:
“B”




COUNT DRACULA (1970)
What It Is:
Jesus Franco and Christopher Lee collaborate to create a more faithful adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel than had ever been attempted.

What It Was:
What it lacked for in budget and script, this one made up for in atmosphere and sheer loyalty to Stoker’s novel.  Lee shines as the old Count who grows younger each time we see him.

What It Earned:
“B”




DEVILS OF DARKNESS (1965)
What It Is:
Count Sinistre leads a successful secret vampire cult as they search for human sacrifices to increase their power and prolong their lives.  All the while, Sinistre plots to replace his current lady with a hot younger red-head.

What It Was:
B-Grade goodness that reflects the days of free love while also embracing the traditional vampire motiffs.  It’s groovy vampire love, baby!

What It Earned:
“B”




WILLOW CREEK
What It Is:
Bobcat Goldthwait wrote and directed this found-footage Sasquatch horror film that involves a couple, one a television reporter by day who goes with her boyfriend to keep him company as he sets out to make a documentary about the original Bigfoot legend that began in 1967 at Willow Creek.

What It Was:
A fairly effective hand-held horror that is sprinkled with interesting dialog and some good humor.  The less is more approach seems to work well for this picture.

What It Earned:
“B”




THE NIGHT BEFORE
What It Is:
Three amigos Seth Rogan, Anthony Mackie and Joseph Gordon-Levitt get together every Christmas Eve to celebrate together and relive past glories, only this year two of the gang want to end the tradition.  Life, it seems, is moving these friends in different directions.

What It Was:
Anyone looking to this movie for big laughs will probably be disappointed as it gives off more of a sentimental/sombre feeling with it’s humor.  There’s a lot of nostalgia here for these guys, it’s the glue that keeps them together.  But what really holds the movie together is Michael Shannon as the weed dealing Christmas Spirit (Past, Present and Future)… throw in Tracy Morgan’s narration and it’s not a bad sleigh ride.

What It Earned: 
“B”




LURED (1947)
What It Is:
Lucille Ball in a serial killer film?  Say what?  Indeed.  Lucy is a dancer out of London who finds her friend missing and is soon approached by a cop who wants to use her as bait to attract this killer who uses personal ads to lure his victims.

What It Was:
Pretty engaging and harrowing stuff, considering the principles.  Boris Karloff even shows up for a bit (the real reason I watched this one) for a few thrills!  A nice piece of work that I’m just now realizing is very similar to SEA OF LOVE.

What It Earned:
“B”




KRAMPUS
What It Is:
When young Max looses his Christmas spirit as his family stress and cynicism become unbearable, Krampus calls to bring punishment to those who have been naughty and ungrateful.

What It Was:
Tone can be a problem when one blends genres, as I’ve mentioned before, but the reason for that is that it works on the viewer in a certain way.
As a horror/comedy, I was hoping it would have been a little darker, a little more nasty—but as it is, this one pulled off the requirements… a sobering tale of what happens when a family doesn’t appreciate what it has.  And, in the end, I think I’ll enjoy this one for it’s simple good qualities.

What It Earned:
“B”




BAD WORDS
What It Is:
Jason Bateman directs himself as an angry, pissed off man who, seemingly just because of a technicality in the rules, enters spelling bees on an apparent quest to beat all of the children and win the entire national contest.  Katheryn Hahn is the reporter who is out to discover his motives.  Little Rohan Chand is the contestant whom he reluctantly befriends as he nears his goal.

What It Was:
A fine little film about growing up and reconciliation and friendship.  

What It Earned:
“B”




JURASSIC WORLD
What It Is:
A resort where you can experience the world of the dinosaurs (and the genetically altered creations of Jurassic World’s own scientists) with the comfort and protections that garantee safety and fun.

What It Was:
As usual, dinosaur jailbreak.  Dinosaurs attack.  Mankind’s attempt to play god gets him eaten by genetic throwbacks.  And I’m reminded why I didn’t go see the sequels to JURASSIC PARK.

What It Earned:
“B-”




ADULT WORLD
What It Is:
Ambitious young poet, Emma Roberts, works at an adult book/video store in attempt to survive on her own while trying to live her artistic life while attempting to persuade her uninterested literary idol, John Cusack, to teach her the way of the writer.

What It Was:
A well acted attempt with it’s heart in the right place that never quite completely gels.

What It Earned:
“B-“




THE PURGE: ANARCHY
What It Is:
In a world where the government sanctions a yearly 12 hour period in which every crime is legal, shit gets real.  Leo is a police sereant who’s son was killed by a drunk driver plans to use the purge to bring his son’s killer vengeance.  Instead, he protects some innocent strangers caught in the chaos.

What It Was:
Though I think the basis of the “Purge” films is pretty unbelieveable, the morality play that results is usually compelling.

What It Earned:
“B-”




AFFLICTED
What It Is:
A found-footage piece about two friends who tour Europe and are confronted by the horrors that result when one of them becomes infected with a mysterious sickness.

What It Was:
A well made B-Grade film about becoming a “creature of the night”.  The only thing holding it back was probably that it was a bit too inward-looking, a little too reflective.

What It Earned:
“B-”




INHERENT VICE
What It Is:
P.I. Larry “Doc” Sportello, played by Phoenix, is as busy staying medicated as he is solving cases.  So when a genuine mystery confronts him involving an ex-lover and her current beau, he weaves his way through the world of surfers, criminals and cops to bring things to a close.

What It Was:
Paul Thomas Anderson is usually money in the bank with me.  His filmography speaks for itself—mentioning a few here (There Will Be Blood, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Punch Drunk Love, etc).  So when I went in to check out this one, my expectations were naturally high.  Too bad only Joaquin Phoenix’s character was doing that.

What It Earned:
“B-“




PHENOMENA (1985)
What It Is:
Young Jennifer Connelly is a young American girl attending a Swiss boarding school and she has a strange connection to the insect world.  Donald Pleasence is a wheelchair bound scientist who is hunting a serial killer.  Together they fight the monster in this dreamy Dario Argento film.

What It Was:
Though it chases it’s own tail at times, this is one of Argento’s films that translates pretty well for my little brain.  Even at this age, Connelly is compelling.

What It Earned:
“B-”





ZOMBEAVERS
What It Is:
Exactly what it sounds like.
Zombie beavers invade the vacation cabin of a group of horny college friends.

What It Was:
It was funny enough and off-beat enough that it surprised and kept me interested until the credits.  The scene that really took it to the next level was the transformation scene.  Totally unexpected and hilarous.

What It Earned:
“B-“




AMERICAN ULTRA
What It Is:
Jesse Eisenberg is a stoner convenience store employee who draws his own graphic novel in his spare time and hangs out with his girlfriend played by Kristen Stewart.  What interrupts this bliss is the sudden revelation that the stoner is a sleeper agent for the CIA who must defend himself from termination.

What It Was:
Like horror/comedies, action/comedies are a little tough to pull off as lives are at stake and so the comedy needs to be that much sharper.  Sadly, it’s not very sharp and most of the good yuks were given away in the trailer.  Quality performances save this one from being a flat “C”.

What It Earned:
“B-”




EXISTS
What It Is:
A found-footage horror featuring five friends frolicking in the forrest before coming face to face with Bigfoot, who finds their presence frustrating.

What It Was:
Pound for pound, this one ended up working for me fairly well, even though I usually find found-footage films a bit phony.  There’s just enough character moments to make the ending have a little impact.

What It Earned:
“B-“




POLTERGEIST (2015)
What It Is:
It’s the classic film remade for a modern time.
A movie that didn’t need a remake, but got it anyway.
It’s people moving into a new house and finding it a haunting experience that may destroy their entire family.

What It Was:
Unnecessary.
And still, I’ll grant that Sam Rockwell was well cast and the rest of the family played their parts admirably.  It’s just that the original still comes off as fairly fresh whenever I come across it and so it all just seems…
unnecessary.

What It Earned:
“B-”





DARK PLACES
What It Is:
From the Gillian Flynn, writer of GONE GIRL, this is the story of a woman who, after years of avoiding it, confronts the memories of the death of her family while she was still a child.  And the possibility that the real killer may not be her brother, who was convicted of the killings.

What It Was:
A well acted look back at conflicting memories and a past that is as cloudy as it is tragic.  Being that this tale should’ve been more compelling, more thrilling and more interesting, it’s a shame that it just doesn’t quite hold the sway it should.

What It Earned:
“B-”




SINISTER 2
What It Is:
As a woman hides from her abusive husband, she lives in a rural house with her twins, one of whom is being visited nightly by the child thralls of the demon Bughuul.  Each of the children revealing how they slaughterd their families in an effort to radicalize the twin boy.

What It Was:
A so-so effort at making this sequel fresh and different from the original film (which I thought was well made and genuinely scary).  They do a good job of this, but the end result is a peek behind the curtain—a curtain which made the original so much more effective.

What It Earned:
“B-“

Next time:
The all-important "A" Grades and even the "B+" Grades that just felt a little superior to the films on this post.